and know what i forget to ask his father what is his name hehe...

hi world.... well not in the right mood now.... well to let u guess my mood, i am listening to ajai & krisdayanti hati ini telah dilukai... nah not in fight or what but i just felt like that... maybe it's the time of the month.. i felt bit of useless too and frustrated with myself coz i can't figure out the way for my project and after trying and i like the design the stupid software just close ny itself and know what i've not save yet and everything gone... gosh.... felt terrible after that and this sog came up and it stick to me till now.. kindda bored coz noone to chat to.. k just now chat wif one of my new classmate and he's kind of friendly too.. well the first time i met him, i had a small guilty crush lah but now it's over coz i heard he's married and really he is married... GOD where has all the cute guys go.... all seems to be either attached or married hahah just joking!!!! well chat up with him and he send me his wife and son photos... well his son fotos were darm cute man... can't resist kids i guess.. maybe i should really consider being a childcare teacher... i really can't resist small kids and i could fall in love with them within minutes... hehe maybe that motherly instinct is really growing in me... well eventually i really though he is not married coz he looks young.. he has been married tink 4 4 years and the son now is 2 yrs 6 months and is really cute like his father hehe... well if the father.. * you know who u are if u happen to read this hehe... well gonna show you his son foto k very adorable...
aniway the family photo he show mw is like a deja vu seen it before sih... k lah see u soon world....
P/s: dear dad don't get angry k if i posted ure son photo coz he is too cute lah... ;P

Biarlah Rahsia

Siti Nurhaliza - Biarlah Rahsia

Lagu: Melly Goeslow

Lirik: Siti Nurhaliza


Pernahkah kau bermimpi seketika

berada di tempat ku

membayangkan pahit manis

berlakutiada siapa yang tahu


mungkin nanti kau jua merasakan

berdepan dengan kata menyesatkan

tak kan ku

tiada pertimbangan


**keheningan malam membalutkan

kepayahan jiwa meluahkan

andai kau jujur memahami

tiadaku menjauhi


***dan kisahku yang masih panjang

menambahkan berat yang memandang

lantasku pendam ku putuskan

biarlah rahsia


semakin aku hitung dalam cinta

tiada kuasa mampu menghalangnya

hentikan kata-kata bertulangkan dusta


**keheningan malam membalutkan

kepayahan jiwa meluahkan

andai kau jujur memahami

tiada ku menjauhi


***dan kisahku yang masih panjang
menambahkan berat yang memandang
lantas ku pendam ku putuskan
biarlah rahsia
oooooo

***dan kisah ku yang masih panjang
menambahkan berat yang memandang
lantas ku pendam ku putuskan
biarlah rahsia

Sabar
Orang yang sabar
Mulia kehidupannya
Ke mana pergi
Akan disegani
Rakan dan taulan
Tetap menyayangi

Biar cacian
Ataupun fitnah
Tak terhenti-henti
Menimpa diri
Harus tawakal
Penuh kesabaran

Insan yang sabar
Menempuh hidup
Akan diberkati Allah
Memang sudah
Menjadi Firman sabar itu IMAN

Hidup di dunia
Banyak ragamnya
Tabahkan hati
Sepanjng jalan
Orang yang sabar
Dirahmati Allah

"Suatu masa nanti.....Pasti kau temui.....Tabahkanlah hati.....Jangan lupakan Illahi.....Akan tiba, kebahagian.....Tak mungkin sendirian....."

extracted from khairul anuar's blog... *jgn marah eh bro if u happen to read this kan tak de copyright kan ;P

hi world.. long time since i posted.. yah because i have a very seriouse eye infection last week can't see that well with only one eye to depend on.. well now it's good... well did not go to school again today... because wanna be with him... so we went to watch big momma house 2 it was kindda bored but there are some of the funny parts as well but not that much... then went to carrefour to do some shopping and after that he start babbling about marriage and responsiblities and all that stuff wich is not the right time too talk about coz i am plain bored today and just had a small disputes coz i met my ex and he is not too happy bout it... well not tat i don't wanna talk bout it it just that i am not ready yet to talk about it today and i know he is pretty upset anyway we hug and everything is ok.. i think coz i don't wanna things to go too bad... well kindda miss my ite peeps well maybe if oneday i could go out with them like always it will be kindda cool but for now only i and khairul keep in contact.. kindda miss the fun and laughter we had... well for now i thing i have only 2 friend that always contact me haiza and khairul and kindda my close friend right now.. well i do have other friends lah but we are not even close only sometimes discuss bout schools and talk bout schools stuff only.. well maybe that is why they say true friend are hard to come by.. well well now trying to find the right blogskin for me i want to do my own but i don't think i can coz i don't know hoe... well if i do have enought and exttra free time i could try well for now bye world may we meet again.....
p/s: taufik won the artist paling popular.... ;P

tuesday
hi world....today went to watch 2 movies one is date movie and the other one is mine, yours & ours... well i prefer the second one... Don't quite like the date movie cause it's just the samme concept as scary movie(s) but know what i can't wait to see scary movie 4... it will be so cool.. i've seen the teasers kindda cool although the concept is the same but it's the acting that is cool... well the bad thing is that my eyes is kindda swollen so i went to see pharmacist and know what (it's a she) she told me that i have got eye infection... what the heck.... the main thing is my eye ball is not red or show any sign of redness but my eye lids are swollen and it hurts very much... so she recommend me this eye drop for infection , she call it antibiotics and told me that if by two days the pain does not subsides or got pus come out... ,i was shocked what does she means by pus... but i kept listening to her, she told me to go see a doctor to get a stronger antibiotic drop... so went to pay for the eye drop and went to toilet to apply it, i mean drop it and you know at first my eye balls gets itchy and then it get to terrible pain... maybe something inside is hurt (*luka lah) i don't know... then the pain will ease away then after about 10 min whenever i wanna close my eyes or blink the terrible pain will come back... i kind of confuse what infection could i got?? unless i am wearing contact lenses or what... i don't even wear glases for likes since last hari raya.... i plan to go to doctor on friday if the pain gets worse... and if i have the money lah... hope it will be fine tomorrow... coz i can't even pray coz when i pray my eyes will hurt worse especially when i *sujud gravity pulls i guess... i hope it will get better so tomorrow i can pray... Know what just now i saw fauzie laily but as per usual i don't chase him or whatsoever i just watch from far.. he is alone sih... shopping... then tommorow my bro family will come yeah2x
my eyes still hurs now and i feel like crying but i can;t coz if i cry the pain will get worse... so need to be strong... k lah take care me... and bye bye world....

monday
yah right another case of insomia .... and know what my eyes on my left hurts i don't even know why.. there is no lumps or red dot well there is no physical evidence that it is hurt or in pain so if i go to doctor they will say nothing.. so i don't know my guy wanna ask me out tommorow and requested( kindly and very persuasively) that i could skip one lecture.. well i don't know.. well we will see about it... of course i don't feel like going also but gonna miss flash... but i think going to be fine coz i'm quite expert hehe in it well maybe lah coz eveleen lesson is so boring coz whatever she teaches i know just that sometimes i press the wrong key and it don't works and i give up... well i've started my video editing already but the problem is how am i going to transfer the file.. if only i have like 6gb thumbdrive or something like that... the file size is huge i think now is around 2gb... how eh... the battery want to finish already lah so gonna stop here first ... bye world....

i am so feeling hopeless right now felt like i want to go home right now... i hate my self yup that's true i can't absorbe anything today just felt like i wanna take a long long walk non stop and don't go home... i wanna stay out without facing everyone at home... i wanna go out and never come in again... crap right.. yup i am crap my whole life is crap nothing usefull maybe i should never go out to the society.. mayb just walk away from everyone and don't meet anyone at all coz i feel that whenever i meet someone they will critise me and just makes me feel bad... well not cool to run away from people well if only i can.... god maybe i am not spending to much time with god that''s why everything turns from bad to worse.. yup that is true i hate me.. nothing turns right everything just got worse... well maybe to outside world i am just some lazy bum who depends on my parents for money.. well ure all wrong coz they don't even give me money sometimes i only get $2 but only after being nag at and sometimes i don't even get anything coz they say i always ask for money well usually i don't coz i wanna find a job coz i need cash well not from them coz i won't get it... maybe it's just my luck... well gotta go back to my lectures bye world

todAY really sucks... know why coz i was accuse of stuff of i did not do and it really makes me feel bad... hate it.. can't sleep well last nite and now today being accuse of something that i did not do... i hate it... and i can't hate that person coz it's my mum.. k lah i suppose to post some photos but they can't read my thumbdrive and the computer at home need to be trown away.. k lah take care world....

hi world... i am in my private world again... Only at this type of time i can be alone and be with myself again... Yah... No privacy so maybe it's time for me to get my own room... well maybe lah if i can... if cannot then well can't do anything coz if i don't than till i die than i can get my own room... correct what if i die then in the grave i will be alone what hehehe... well this tuesday my guy ask me out well eventually usually i can't coz i have a class but maybe can make it an exception coz he will be going to ns in maybe 2 more month and anyway i don't think i wanna go out on sat.... i don't know why but i felt quite uncomfortable going to wild wild wet with my condition now... ya lah i can't imagine myself being in the pool with long sleeve and cap to cover my head... well maybe if insist me to go then maybe i can consider.. well tomorow monday.... but i haven print my story board my project brief well i have not install macromedia stuff and my notebook can't connect to internet...
of coz kindda fed up coz spend the whole week trying to fix it... but i can't so i'll just try to find the crack for the software... maybe try the net if i still can't then maybe i'll ask around... have to find on my own first then ask around.... maybe search the net.. well can't sleep again maybe should aSk for sleeping pills. can't be like this all the time.... well wannA watch my left eyes can see ghost... and wanna try to sleep well if i can lah... well maybe if mama talk to me tomorrow can ask her for some money coz i really need cash.. i am really craving for good chocolate i bought malaysia chocolate it's taste so terrible... and wanna but pau .. may be i can go to school earlier so i can do some of video editing... well if i can.. well if i can lah.... k lah gd bye world c u soon....

yeah... today is the day... at last i got to go to escape theme park.... first we went macdonals to have lunch then we went to escape....everything went so fine until i have to take a ride in the ship... ya you can go on and laugh at me ... i am so scared like mad that my body shook vigerousely that's right... shook like mad.. and i have to close my eyes through out the whole thing and i still have the cheek to say i wanna ride all the rides... shame on me... well yah i think right now that you already know i am afraid of heights... well so the next thing is i went to the haunted house well don't really enjoy it coz i can't see anything except for the electricuted man and kak pon hanging on the deiling and the rest is too bored coz i am concentrating so much so as not to fall down coz it's damn dark... then after that my headache came for a visit maybe because i shook too hard at the ship so i went for a relaxing superman ride... which i have i lie down on my stomach then the thing will spin around but not that HIGH so it's fine with me... you know what i find myself quite weird coz i am afraid of moving heights but not moving horror movie... weird rite... yup i really mean moving heights such as the pirates ships, rollercoaster... you know why i say that, coz when i am aboard i climb a mountain which is quite high and yup no phobia but just now i took the pirate ship i was freaking scared... god, so paiseh coz i was with my guy... and i told him i wanna take all the rides that is there... paiseh rite but.. then he just laugh it out and says that " next week we go wild wild wet k, then if the rides there is too high for you, we can just laze around at the pool k".. isn't he sweet, i guess if other guy will laugh his head off... gosh... my head still hurts so bad that i wonder when will it disappear...i swear never to take that ride again... maybe go to the kiddy rides... i don't mind being laugh at coz i really can't take it.... well here are some photos of what we took there....

well got a life saver, lina coz she help me burn microsoft office... thanks lina, i own you one.. well today was a better day coz i manage to do the stuff eveleen teaches just now and quite happy with the result. Well did most of the stuff that i plan out to do... well i already downloaded the trial version like what jabez told me to do so but the only problem is it's at the other com and my thumbdrive seems to be corrupted coz it's almost full but eventually after checking the properties and checking the files in it... know what there is no files in there but in the property say that the drive is almost full as in 90%full so i don't know what to do and the other thing is the notebook can't detect any internet.. yup i am quite confused coz i am using cable modem as in just plug and play but when i plug cannot play... confused rite... me too so i though of trying wireless next and so tomorrow i'll have to do the set up and what so ever... so gonna be busy again ... so then gonna see if i could get a copy of photoshop anywhere coz they don't have trial... see if i could get a pirated one or i could ask around... well it's 6.10am gonna pray for awhile then maybe continue if i am not sleepy but don't think i will coz my mom will scream if she see i am not sleeping again... can't wait for sat.... going to escape....... hopefully nothing bad could ruin my mood... coz hopefully first time doesn't leave a bad impression... right.. k going off.

hei i'm back eventually the first one i forgot to save so poof... it's gone.. well you know what i think i am having a very bad week coz i have been feeling this very bad feeling since monday. i felt that everything i do is wrong and nothing is right i can't even get a simple thing to be done and i always get fedup at every little thing.. k i know it's bad... and know what every time i ask for some favour the other party will always have reasons as if i know how to fix everything my self well if i do do i need to ask for a favour and later they will tell me how to get it but then i have to find it myself well it's it the same if i find it myself at the first place. well that particular person promise to help me but in the end implying that i have to work the problem on my own.. what the heck.. well i am not angry but instead i am sad.. kidda if you don't want the help me pls say so don't need to say reasons and in the end i have to find the solutions my self... well kindda feeling very bad right now i can''t sleep and i have so much things in my brain right now sometimes i can't thing stright even the simple thing such as listening to someone talking could be quite demanding for me sometimes coz i can't concentrate...well haven quite sleep in the last 24hrs so kindda feeling edgyer haha need to relax but how??? need to do so many things but don't know where to start. well first thing i need to get some sleep then wake up i need to post this thing and than i need to go out early coz need to print my project brief and nope the first thing is to sms lina if she can bring her notebook to school coz jabez told me to copy her microsoft office well if she wants to bring.. been down on my luck lately so it's ok if she refuse she has her decision... then i can rush to school and well if she say yes then bring the note book to copy the files then need to download trial version of macromedia sofeware(s) and need to find the crack hopefully some helpful and kind soul could help me get the keygen.. if they are willing to help in the first place... gosh.. so many things to do in one day..... oh ya i need to charge my phone.. then find a vcd ripper... then maybe continue my flash webpage at the other computer coz this one does not have flash... then maybe start planning my storyboard for video editing... well i don't know too many stuff to do well wish me luck k... and can't wait for saturday coz it's the day for fun coz i'm going to escape theme park and i hope i can escape from all this and be happy for just a while.. oh ya saturday if possible need to go to kak yaya place to take my hp charger... mama is angry coz i kept using hers.... well enough for now think i can close my eyes in 15mins time goodnite world.... and sleep tight me!!!!

hi world... yah... An old picture coz i never toojk picture recently.. coz i don't want the world to look at my sad and lost face... kidda felt bad about everything... I felt that whatever that i have done is bad.. even when i gave my best in everything i still feel that something is lacking and i need to improve better but i don't know what i am missing ... i felt that i have everything in my life work out.. i've got a caring boyfirend a sweet family a caring friend but it's me whom i felt like the bad one ... K lah gonna update later k class have started...